Driving was something I had enjoyed from the moment I got my license. I loved the freedom you feel behind the wheel and the ability to just go.
As I begun my journey with chronic pain this event that I once loved became a labored chore. One I never looked forward to. I was no longer able to listen to music in the car as it often trigger terrible headaches. Once, after starting a new medication, I fell asleep at the wheel and almost got in a terrible car accident.
Tonight, I have experienced a huge win in this battle with embracing my pain. I decided, as I sat behind the wheel of my car about to start a trip, that I was going to enjoy this ride like I used to enjoy driving. I was going to put the windows down, turn the radio on, and just go. And I was flying! I felt high just on my own enjoyment! It was amazing. I have never felt anything this incredible before. My pain was still there, but it was in the backseat– literally just along for the ride. It was not dominating me, it was not at the forefront of my thoughts, yet I never forgot it was there.
I was able to embrace my pain for this brief period of time and just enjoy myself. Simply amazing. These are the moments I fight for.