Difficult to describe

At this very moment I do not have the words

To describe how I feel.

What I do know is that this constant feeling

Is becoming all too real.

I do not believe this is normal,

But who am I to say?

Especially since this feeling

just will not go away.

The best I can do to put this in words is to say it is a combination of ground hogs day and an uphill battle. The never ending cycle of hopes and heartbreak. A constant battle of will: Can I make it through the day convincing everyone I am all right? Even that begins to feel like a small victory– as long as everyone else thinks I am okay is mustn’t  be that bad. Sometimes, though, I fear it might even be worse. Because not only is the pain physically taxing, but the constant pretending and portrayal  of heightened spirit is emotionally exhausting. I am completely drained. I feel like I am running on empty. Far more often than I should. I was feeling like I had some inspiration yesterday where now I feel not a single wind at my back.

Perhaps I should have just kept it short and sweet and stuck with “I do not have the words”

I would love to hear what you all do when you are down to pick yourself back up. Or how you are able to maintain your positive outlook. Please let me know! I will be sure to share once I figure it out for myself.

Good luck everybody, I know we can get through this….even when sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.

<Emma>

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