New Years Celebration?

Or New Years flop?

So let’s talk about celebrating. There are several things in life worth celebrating, I believe the new year is one of them.

Typically with celebrations many things occur, drinking usually being one of them. I have been through quite the trial and error of medications and as such, have not been drinking very much. I have forsaken my medicine for short periods in the past to partake in a beverage or two, always to regret it the next day when I am close to completely immobilized. This was all before I was on my current medication regiment.

Getting back to new years. A good friend of mine and I decided to go out for new years and she planned on enjoying her fair share of champagne. I was also planning something similar. So I took my usual steps of skipping my medication, trying to hydrate, eating right and hoping for the best. As the day progressed I started feeling worse and worse. I told myself I would be all right, that I could just hydrate and relax and I would be ready for a night out. As we are getting ready my friend starts drinking champagne, I decline, hoping to will myself to a better place before we go out. We go to dinner and I enjoy a very delicious gluten-free beer. As I near the end of my drink, I feel a lot worse all of a sudden, and I decide that this one drink is enough for me.

We continue with our plans and go to an outdoor music festival-type event. We find one of the bar areas and she orders champagne, I decline once again. She gives me a sideways look and I simply said I can’t have more to drink right now. She enjoys her overpriced champagne and we continue to investigate the festival. We find one of the stages and listen to the DJ for a bit (not our thing at all) and while we are standing there she gets tapped on the shoulder by this guy we work with that we both cannot stand (also not our thing at all)

Turns out this guy came alone, so we got stuck with him. We go find another bar area, she gets another overpriced champagne, he isn’t drinking because he drove, and I decline again. Another sideways look, and I simply say “I just can’t.” We go check out what is happening on the other stage at the festival and there is a band playing not exactly our type of music, but much better than the DJ, so we sit. Now, by this time, Mr. Guy-we-hate-from-work has sufficiently irritated both of us. We decide to go find the bathroom and we conveniently do not return to where we were sitting afterwards. Judge us if you will, but we wanted to have some fun on new years eve.

We wander around this rather unentertaining festival for a while and then just decide to find a place to watch the fireworks. The fireworks display is probably the only thing that “saved” our night.

I tell you think long, in-depth story to discuss the point that, because of my pain and inability to drink, my friend did not have a fun night celebrating new years eve. Yes, the guy from work put a damper on things as well, but I feel as though if I had felt better and been able to drink we both would have had a better night. She won’t say anything, but we are close enough that I know what she thinks about our night out. And she thinks is was lame.

Because I was in pain and because I am on medications I have become dead weight at the party.

I now feel guilty for being a factor in a bad new years eve celebration.

This friend has also been there to help out a lot when I have had bad pain flares and knows how bad I can get. Since she has seen my lows, she sometimes treats me like a child. Like I can’t go out and do things. Like I always need a helping hand. And it has always pissed me off. And now I go and prove to her that I cannot handle going out. I feel like every time I try to make progress I just move backwards instead.

I am not a fan of this pain cycle in which I find myself.

 

<Emma>

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